Spanish Roast

Nothing smells better in a kitchen than a roast simmering in a large, cast iron Dutch oven. The only thing that smells better is a Spanish roast cooking in a Dutch oven. Hence, you are cooking a multi-cultural dish. The meat falls apart and the sauce and vegetables that have simmered with the meat for hours will make you want to roll around in the dirt like your bird dog. I guess that is dirt that the bird dog is rolling in.


Anyway, if you want to make your dog howl to get in the house or if you want to convert a vegetarian into a dirty meat-eater, then this is the recipe to do it with.
Ingredients:
One 3-4 pound pot roast

One 8-oz bottle of Catalina dressing

1/2 cup water

1 cup of sliced olives

8 small onions

8 small potatoes

8 small carrots

Some flour

Some cornstarch

Some whiskey, beer, or vodka

Use a large cast-iron Dutch oven. Brown the meat on all sides in 1/2 cup of the Catalina dressing. Add the remaining dressing and water and let it cook over low heat for 2 – 2 1/2 hours. Add the olives, onions, potatoes, and carrots. Cook for 45 minutes or until the meat and vegetables are done. Thicken the gravy with a little cornstarch and water mix.

Since the dish cooks for almost three hours, you do have time to sample some of the fine spirits listed above, all of which can be purchased at Brad’s or your local distillery. To make it special, serve the spirits in a Thomas Jefferson pewter cup. I know that most people in the area use these as ashtrays or keep bait in them, but they are for selected spirits! Please, don’t embarrass the Red Neck Chef!

If your husband or wife is running around on you, this dish will make the wayward spouses stay home and adore you. If not, divorce them for they are not worth keeping. Don’t shoot them as that is a waste of good bullets. Take all that they own instead. And make sure that you get those Thomas Jefferson pewter cups.