Jam-bo-liya!

The Red Neck Chef

Jambalaya

My grandmother was Voo Magillicutty who married Hoover (Hoo) Deux of New Orleans. Voo Deux and Hoo Deux raised a lot of children in Naw’lins, one of whom was my mother. I learned a lot about cooking through Voo Deux, especially regarding how to make jambalaya. Even today when I make it, I implore a lot of Hoo Deux and Voo Deux in order to make it work.

Jambalaya is a dish best served with junk from the Kelvinator, like chicken, sausage, and shrimp. With the perfect roux, taught to me by Hoo Deux, this dish will make your eyes roll back in your head and will make you want to stick pins in your kid’s Barbie dolls at midnight.

Ingredients:

One-half block of Neese’s Hot Sausage
One onion, chopped
Three tablespoon of flour
One tablespoon garlic from a jar
One-half cup of fresh chopped parsley
Two cups of uncooked rice
Three cups of chicken broth
Chopped chicken breast, cut up turkey ham, and peeled, raw shrimp
An optional shot of Louisiana-like Hot Sauce
One glass of hot vodka (vodka infused with hot peppers…I’ll show you how later)

Take a drink of Cajun Vodka, especially good in the cooler months.

Brown the sausage in your cast iron Dutch oven. Take out the sausage and leave the grease. Add the flour into the hot grease and stir and cook continuously until the flour is smooth, milky, and brown as the outside of a Snickers-like candy bar. This is the roux. Don’t burn it…if you do, you will know it and you will have to pitch it. If you have to add additional grease, add some vegetable oil or some real butter. Once the roux is done, add the onions and cook a bit. Add the rice, and stir into the roux. Add the sausage, chicken breast and turkey ham chunks, garlic, parsley, and stir once. Add the chicken broth, bring to a boil, drop the heat to simmer, and put the cover on the pot. Simmer for 50 minutes, or until the rice is soft, adding water when you have to. Remove the cover, add as many peeled shrimp as you want to, stir them gently into the hot mix, and let it cook uncovered for about 7 minutes, or when the rice is decently dry.

Let it set a bit. Serve in deep bowls.

I gar-ron-tee that this will be something that will make you want to take off your shirt, put on some beads, and chant “Mardi Gras” through your downtown .